Why do we always have that need to fit in? "Maybe, you'll finally find a place where you belong".
Those words kept me thinking about it. I think in part it is true. I'm so confused... and maybe it would be a good idea to find who am I. God, I feel like a teenager, the "finding who-you-are" stage. It feels stupid and even silly to admit it... but who am I really? I'm definitely not completely asian, and not completely western... is not who you hang out with that defines you... even though some people keep telling me it IS. Then which one is true?
I love art, I enjoy watching movies, tv series and most recently... reading. I love my major. I can't wait to work on this field. I love my family, I love my friends... but I keep thinking that I'm leaving them behind. It is painful... you know the saying "friendship doesn't last forever", "rely on your family", "don't think about what they want, think about yourself". All those things are tormenting me. Then why do I work so hard to trust them? Why do I even have to bother, then? Feeling lonely even though you are surrounded by a bunch of people. I don't like being someone I'm not or doing things I would regret.
It has turned to be a very tough weekend. A stupid nightmare that left me crying...and then the idea of going to China for a year... I really can't concentrate for hw..and I haven't done much this weekend... I've tons to do... including an essay... I spent my whole weekend doing photography...I really enjoyed it though... but still I have not been able to stop thinking about that.
Sometimes you find the answers within yourself... even though you were expecting other people to tell them for you.
I'm starting to get excited about China ^^ like really? is this really happening? but then I don't wanna get too excited cuz I'm afraid that maybe it will turn out that I won't go or it is not gonna be as amazing as everybody has told me...
But I'm strong. I hope I am. I want to be. I need to be.
1 comment:
No pienso "you are the people who you hang out with"
somos individuos , somos unicos y la gente con la q paramos no nos define, define la mente de otros pero no la tuya.
El sentimiento de encajar completamente en un lugar ajeno a tu ambiente d tantos años, es algo q parece estar muy lejos siempre. Pero a veces mejora y mucho.
Es cuestion d arriesgarse a conocer a gente, dejar la timidez atras o "ya tiene su grupo de amigos"
puede q lo ultimos ea cierto pero
"Maybe, you'll finally find a place where you belong".
a veces es necesario poner mas de parte de uno a dejar q esto venga a ti.
Y suena tnto lod bsucarse a uno mismo, pero uno jamas deja de conocerse. No lo veas tanto como buscar quieen eres, sino mas como sabes quiene res y las circunstancias nuevas q se amoldan a ese tu.
friendship doesn't last forever", "rely on your family",
esencias
la distancia hace creer q uno anda lejos pero cuando regresas es como si fuese ese tiempo en el q seguias alla
la gente cambia si
la gente cambio mejor dicho
pero esencia eso es lo q cuenta
y si la esencia cmabia, q pena , al menos fue una buena epoca cuando no habia cambiado
animos
cheer up
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